Eulogy for Dingo

This post is not a joke. It is entirely serious and based on real life.

It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that we say farewell to Christopher (Dingo) Jack, known also as edge_raider and Edgar Althalos. He passed away on the night of April, 29th, presumably around midnight. I, along with some others from the server, received the news from one of Dingo's friends.

For reasons unknown to all of us, he took his own life. It's never something that anybody thinks will happen to those around them. As the owner of a Minecraft server and acquaintance of many young Australians, it's never something that I think will happen to my members. It should go without saying that he kept a great many things to himself, revealing only glimpses of personal details to those he considered worthy. As such, there may be information in this post that is inaccurate, and I apologise if that's the case.

Castle Blackhill will be left exactly as it is. I will open it for public viewing shortly, as it will become our official memorial to him. In his last days, he expressed his intention to give all of his possessions to the empire to avoid a court punishment in the roleplay. Out of respect for his wishes, which were clearly representative of his state of mind and masked by a fictitious story, I will leave everything he owns on the server as it currently is.

He only left one permanent message for us, and it can be found on his Skype status: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVkWCHgOxw8
This piece of music was written by Tchaikovsky over 120 years ago. It is the last piece of music Tchaikovsky ever wrote, because he died shortly after writing it. Some say that the music is Tchaikovsky's own suicide note, or that it depicts his own awareness of his impending death. They say that the listener can hear the unsteady, anxious heartbeat of the composer towards the end of the piece. This heartbeat, mixed with mournful strings and solemn brasses, wraps around itself with dissonance and uncertainty before coming to an eventual cease. Unlike many of his musical pieces, this one ends in mournful decay, never resolved, only ended. Whatever the reason for Dingo sharing this in his final days, I already knew the piece well before Dingo placed it in his status, and I, like many others, will probably find myself unable to listen to it until a later date.

Though we may all feel pangs of guilt as we reflect over our times with him, it is with certainty that I can remind you that Dingo was never one to hold grudges. Though in his moments of anger, his moments of weakness, he would verbally lash out at those around him, in time he would always return with unparalleled retrospect and apologise sincerely, wishing only to become friends again. A select few of us discovered from Dingo's own father that he was "glad that he[Dingo] actually made some friends."

I feel I have nothing more to say, but if I find out more, I will put what I know here. You are welcome to express yourself on this page, or to ask questions. And please, if you find yourself struggling to deal with this, tell those around you, your family and friends, so that they understand. As it is, obituaries are not public information, and suicides tend to get covered up, so I may find that I may never have any official confirmation, and in that case, this eulogy will have to suffice.

If you are a spiritual person, I ask you to pray for Dingo's friends and family.
If you are not, I ask you to pray anyway, as an expression of condolence for those concerned.
Dingo Jack, sad as your passing may be, you are an inspiration to a great many people, and your memory will live on in our hearts.

RIP Dingo Jack
1998-2013

Rest in peace my friend, for we know you are somewhat in a better place.

Dingo.

I have some words to say.

Wandering the tall, dark, solemn halls of Blackhill Castle, I find myself trying not to think about what happened, but I have since realised that I must do the opposite. I want to embrace the memories you’ve left us, no matter the weight of sadness and pain I feel gripping my shoulders like the claws of a demon.

Everything reminds me of you: finding wild wolves resting beneath Leotian Elms; sitting in the quiet, seaside seating of Greenboot Tavern at Makeran; stumbling upon the large, dark castle far to the north, isolated from civilisation and closed to all but a select few; the bright, lurid full moon of Alendrian nights, expressive of your werewolf character; the balcony of Prince Srafel’s quarters; Bayley’s Tavern in Vesht; the Imperial Mint… the list is endless. Even abstract incidents bring you into my thoughts: The calculating, controlling, ruthless, and intelligent Tywin Lannister from Game of Thrones, your favourite character; or pieces of moving music that swirl in thick bleakness with melodies that reach desperately for the light above, which I presume only serve as a minute insight into what you may have been suffering.

When I went to my grandfather’s funeral a few years ago, I went without wearing my glasses or contacts. I knew I would cry, so I simply took sunglasses with me. As I watched my grandmother place a single flower on the coffin of her husband and as I watched her pause, overcome with thoughts and emotions, tears poured from my eyes, and through sadness manifest I could suddenly see clearly. I could see the trees and hills, and I could see the rays of sunshine that broke through the dark clouds that had hovered above us for hours. The irony of this phenomenon struck me profoundly, that I could see clearer with tears in my eyes. I still find it incredibly comforting that, though such immense sadness and suffering exists in this world, there is hope to be found in the smallest of places.

In retrospect, I feel guilty for thinking your life was full of darkness, but then I remember the thousands of funny images you have left for us on your Facebook account. Maybe this was a desperate attempt at finding happiness, or maybe this was how you wanted to be remembered. I simply don’t know, and I never will. Maybe it doesn't matter, and all that matters now is that we look back on our times with you and, given what happened, try to find our own personal meaning and purpose for why you came into our lives.

See you later, bro.

Posted on behalf of Jordie Sherwood:

Even though Edge was quiet and secretive, most still knew him as the greatest and most respected on Distantlands (I know I did). This man was one of my greatest friends on this server. He helped me and got me out of the dark when I needed help, he was there when I needed anything, he never rejected me like most, didn't say bad things to me like most, but instead he took me under his wing, and I like to think we became friends. I have no idea what everyone thought of him but he was awesome. I knew him as Dingo Jack, nothing more nothing less. People saw me as a stupid kid who would run to him when I was in trouble but he didn't ask for anything from me, he just saw me as a good kid I guess. He will be most missed out of anyone ever. I’ve had to deal with my young brother dying, but me hearing that he had taken his own life it felt just as bad, knowing that without him I would have stopped playing this game. I feel so guilty for gosh knows why. Without him the role play would just be boring and in this cruel world you just start feeling small, like nothing could make you feel better and that you feel so depressed that you couldn't do anything ever to help yourself. I don't mean anything bad, but it was so selfish for him to leave his family and friends without any reasoning. I just have so much anger building up inside of me that makes me just want to scream for so long I lose your voice. I will miss you very much babe, hope heaven does you good, loads of love from me and hope to see you when I join you <3

I feel so devastated to find out that this has happened.
I only knew Dingo through the game and the very rare few chats I had with him on Facebook.
But the little I knew him, he was an amazing, amazing person, with lots of potential and life. He was creative and not afraid to speak his mind.
Even though I didn't know him that well in life I still find my self trying to hold back the tears, because he was an extremely kind person, not just to me, but to everyone around around him.
I am so sorry that I couldn't be there for him.

Whatever happens in the afterlife, I can only say Semper Fi. Because I always had faith in him.

RIP Dingo.
- Rigonor_Treldal (Casper Treldal)

I'm still deep in shock, like a lot of you are still. And at this point in time I am overwhelmed with feelings and emotions. At this point in time I'm at a loss for words. So, all I can say right now is.
Chris, I loved you like a brother. I'll miss you, and everything that we shared. Rest in peace my dear.

"Don’t think of him as gone away
his journey’s just begun,
life holds so many facets
this earth is only one.

Just think of him as resting
from the sorrows and the tears
in a place of warmth and comfort
where there are no days and years.

Think how he must be wishing
that we could know today
how nothing but our sadness
can really pass away.

And think of him as living
in the hearts of those he touched…
for nothing loved is ever lost
and he was loved so much."

His Journey Has Begun by Ellen Brenneman